Live with the consequences?

I'm feeling lonely.  Or is it lonesome?

Here's the possible difference:
A lonesome person has hope, a lonely person, not so much. But generally, lonely is meant to mean lack of companionship and personification of that lack (e.g. Houses cannot be lonely unless it is personified), whereas lonesome signifies something desolate, secluded or solitary like a lonesome house.

I'm still not sure, but I know that I'd rather not be either of these.  And I don't know whether I'm doing something or not doing something that might change how I'm feeling.  Or do I have to try to change how other people are feeling towards me?

For example, last night I had planned to go to a bar downtown and see a musician I like both for his music and for himself.  It was in my calendar.  What I actually did was watch many, many episodes of Grace and Frankie on Netflix because I had convinced myself that I might get to that bar and not know a soul.

Just writing that makes me really uncomfortable, but it's not the first time I've planned something interesting and possibly fun only to stay home for no good reason.

What do you think?  Is this something that a woman of my age should be able to overcome, or is it something people grow into?