Tuesday, 7 August 2018

As it should be

Over the last few days, I have been a searcher.  That's because I'm also a person who loses or misplaces things.

I was really giving myself a hard time about my inability to track things down, but now that I think about it, I can see real advantages to that.  While I was looking for specific things I couldn't find, I came across things I hadn't seen in ages.

Imagine opening a box and seeing the necklaces Dave and I had bought each other when we were first exploring who we were as a couple; finding a book that I had promised myself would be a diary for the rest of my life, and which lasted for 7 straight days; reading a wonderful letter from my mom in which she gave me, at my request, her thoughts about how our newly-blended family was working out; finding a medal I'd earned at school for a ridiculous how-did-I-ever-do-it general excellence in my last year; picking up a small sweet black cotton Chinese shoe,the other one of  which was mysteriously lost before Emily got to wear them.

More stuff: letters and handmade birthday, Easter and Christmas cards from our kids and grand kids, photos I'd put aside to later frame them which just sat there unframed but beautiful, a long braid of my hair, probably cut when I was about 9.

It doesn't mean I don't want to be able to find the things I was looking for in the first place, but this has really given me a great deal of both joy and sadness.  As it should be.