Thursday, 27 February 2020

Hey, she's not in my face!!.

Some reasons why I've not been in your face lately:

  • First, and worst, I'm having trouble remembering words, real trouble, both when I'm talking and when I'm writing, although it's somewhat easier while writing because I can ask for help or use Google and anyone reading assumes it's just like me talking
  • Also, I have difficulty accepting this. And because no one else is part of the trouble, I only have myself to be pissed off with
  • I am a person, when faced with difficulty, to choose to either give something up or to take a deep breath and do my best---nothing in between
  • I've been doing the second of those things, but not succeeding as much as I'd expected
Some reasons why I'm going to make an effort to be in your face, but of course, in the rather "Gosh, nothing's changed" way, which means I have to be subtle:
  • First, and worst, I've already told you that I'm having trouble so I can't choose to pretend nothing is going on
  • Also, I've stepped back from seeing people as much as I used to, and even though I've always loved to be with people, I don't have the confidence I once felt. I'd like to change that
  • Dave has been so understanding and so thoughtful that I'm starting to believe I owe him so much more than I'll ever be able to make things even again
I don't have a "program" to follow, at least not yet, but I'm feeling that just writing this has been a step forward.  

Keep an eye out for me.