Yes, I do feel foolish

Why did no one ever tell me:

• you can't wear a wide headband behind your ears to hold your hair back if you're wearing glasses
• it's much easier to ignore technology than to throw your phone at the wall
• your younger brother and your children will be drinking much nicer coffee than that which sits in your hippyish glass jar on the kitchen counter
• the cost of 6 dollar store items equals the cost of a glass of wine at a nice bar, so you might want to rethink your silliness around Christmas stockings