Tuesday 24 May 2016

I haven't been here for a while, and I can't figure out why.  It used to be one of the highpoints of my day when I hit the "publish" button and posted to Facebook.  I loved it when I was getting the breakfast cleared away and a story jumped up, waiting to be told.  I felt great when friends posted funny or supportive remarks, or one-upped me, and just the writing in itself sometimes gave me an insight that delighted me.  But my last post was quite a while ago, even though I strongly wish to write everyday.

I'm not sure, but I think this might be connected to the feeling I've had lately that I can only describe as fear.  Driving or being driven in cars scares me, the loss of familiar words, the sounds in the house during the night, the moment when I realize I can't remember why I briskly walked into the kitchen, when I look at one of my grandchildren and know exactly who she is and everything she likes but my brain won't let go of her name.

None of these things, taken alone, and at my age, is really unusual, but the consistency and the volume of my "incidents" is adding to my anxiety.

3 comments:

  1. I am soooo with you n just about every point. One reason we haven't seen you for while is that we don't want to drive down there.

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  2. I hope you get to the bottom of it all and find out it's just normal at your age. A number of things you mention have already happened to me several times.

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  3. Consider: you have to lift your hair up by the fist for it to look like that. Mine does it totally on its own. Feel better yet?

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